Day 105 - feeling pain

I was listing to a song that triggered a feeling in me tonight on my drive home. Usually I'd skip over it, but tonight I didn't. And oddly enough, for the first time in over a year, I felt remorse and sadness towards something I thought I let go of over a year ago. And as sad as I may had been tonight, I was really thankful. It's a huge blessing to finally let go of your ego, and admit to yourself: yes, I am affected by this. For the longest time I wasn't letting myself be upset. We often don't let ourselves feel pain. And what I'm finding more and more these days, is that the majority of what we do let ourselves feel is in fact denial. So much of our coping mechanisms revolve around distraction and escape. Things don't work out, so move on. Glossing over a strong emotion is only suffocating. But I have to admit, it's much easier to let yourself think you're ok. But what are you doing to yourself in the process? And what I find interesting, is that no matter how hard you try, at some moment, those emotions will explode. Sometimes a year later, sometimes ten years later. But the important thing to note here, is that inevitably it's going to happen; so let it. Now, I'm not saying to wallow in your sorrows, because that's just as unhealthy, but let yourself feel them. Or would you rather glaze over them until their ready to burst? Because if you think about it does it really make you a stronger person if you hold it in, or are you just afraid of how bad it might feel? I know I was.