Day 12 - refreshing conversations

I met with a friend for a coffee, and both of us have been friends for years and years, and coming out of that conversation, she told me "You know, the conversation we had was very refreshing" and I felt the exact same way. And it occurred to me that, so often are we bombarded with mundane chit-chat, that a heart-to-heart becomes a dose of sunshine. It's sad really. Having people in your life that are willing to take the time to offer a sincere conversation that is open, thoughtful, insightful and builds stronger bonds is really a beautiful thing. Taking the time to really understand a person, isn't a quick nor easy task, and being blessed with people who are willing to sit and listen to me babble about ridiculous paranoias, idiosyncrasies and theories on life is definitely something to be thankful for.

Day 11 - genuine invitations

I started thinking today about invitations given by friends, that are genuine. I had a few social events I was invited to today, and of course, it made me happy to be able to go out and just have a great time with friends. The time spent with them is obviously a gift, but more importantly, it's act of invitation. Your close friends extend a genuine invitation because they sincerely wanted your company. I was, in the past somewhat of a flake, and by doing so I eventually felt like an outsider and segregated from many of my friends. It wasn't until recently that I realised the importance of accepting an invitation. Not so you could be included into a group of people and become 'one of the gang'. No, but because when someone extends that offer, and you decline, it is in some ways refusing a gift. So, I'm thankful for genuine invitations because they offer an opportunity to show someone you care as well, by accepting and saying "well, yeah, I really like spending time with you too!".

Day 10 - past relationships

When a relationship comes to a end so does a part of yourself. When you're in a relationship, interacting with that person brings out, represses, and changes various parts of who you are, at least if you're in a relationship full hearted it should. And every time you come out of it a wiser person, wiser about yourself, about the different types of people in this world and about relationships. I was thinking today about how thankful I am to have had such meaningful relationships. I tend to really give relationships my all, and sometimes that can be problematic, in that it can be emotionally trying. But that's kind of the great thing about it, I am really grateful to have had the opportunity of sharing myself & life with another person so intensely, and learning about them in return. Despite the heartache I really do think that's one of the key elements in living a fullfilled life; sharing it with another person. So to that I say thank you to all the great romantic adventures that I've had so far, and ones that have yet to come, because they really have taught me a hell of a lot, and I want remember these lost loves for their positive impacts.

Day 9 - my nephews

After a day at school working on thesis stuff, dealing with academia and all that sort of thing I came home to find my two nephews at my place so excited because they saw another bunny in our backyard and wanted to go play with my rabbit, Elliot. So we went downstairs, and they got so excited about the simplest things while playing with Elliot. Then the three of us started playing and being silly, and they would just start laughing hysterically over the most simple things I'd do to make them laugh. And it's at times like this that I'm so glad they're in my life, because they really do remind me how complicated I make things, and that all it boils down to is that you're happy, laugh every day and enjoy everything you do. Because that's what they do, and yes that could be a testament to 'ignorance is bliss' where the less you know, the happier you are, because you don't know any better. But, is it that we're not happy because we're jaded, or have we just increased our level of satisfaction? Do we just keep wanting more? That's why I'm so glad I have these two little guys in my life, they're a reminder of how you really can be happy with the simpler things, and in those brief moments of them laughing hysterically, that's all that really matters, laughing & enjoying yourself.

Day 8 - people who give others a chance

There's a girl who was in my University class of 68 students. In undergrad she was pretty quiet and a bit of a wallflower. After a few of us registered into the masters program, a lot of social barriers were torn down and more people were given more of a social opportunity to interact with others. But some stigmas are still attached to people, whether warranted or not. This girl, who I had very little opportunity to really get to know, not by any reason other than the fact taht she did really keep to herself. Recently she's befriended a newly found close friend of mine, and this friend and her social circle saw such greatness in her that they've decided to throw a soiree in her honour for her birthday in order to, and I quote, 'get her out there because she's so great'. It's funny, I'm sure no one intentionally didn't talk to this girl for malicious reasons, it just never happened because she kept to herself so much. But its so great to see others overextend themselves in order to put the limelight on someone a little introverted in order for others to see how great they are. These people definitely deserve some recognition, because they give people who are otherwise deemed as forgettable, quiet, boring etc. their time to shine.

Day 7 - relationship with my mom

When I was younger, I thought that there's no possible way I could have an open relationship with my mother. I had this perception she was a very old fashioned, traditional and closed minded person. In the last few years our relationship has developed into a very open and honest one. She knows just about as much about my life as most of my friends do, and I never thought this would ever happen. Things I didn't think she'd ever accept she's willing to discuss, relationships, birth control and even drugs & alcohol. I guess this is what happens when you move out and parents realize how you're not a half-wit and are quite capable of making responsible choices. Either way I'm extremely grateful that, despite the occasional bickering, I can have these sort of conversations with my mom, where she can become one of my best friends. I'm really thankful for that actually.

Day 6 - fear of losing yourself

I'll be honest I sat down tonight not even knowing where to begin with this entry. Today was pretty uneventful, and while it came to a close, I got really down for various reasons. I realised that the world can be extremely artificial and sometimes functioning in society restricts you from being open. And it's only because of standards set which have been evolving for God knows how long. And I got really upset about this, because I get so scared that I'm going to be manipulated into that somehow. And I think that's actually something to be thankful for, the ability to feel that fear and recognize your weakness. Because I think that feeling in itself, when stemming from a positive source, can help initiate change. Yes, fear can be negative and conflict with self-growth and inhibit you in many ways. But the fear of losing who you really are, I think is really a blessing, because it comes from a place inside you that is so genuine. That fear will only propel me to make genuine decisions. I'm not sure if this makes any sense, as I'm having a hard time expressing myself, hopefully in time I'll be able to edit/ articulate this point a bit better.

Day 5 - positive impacts paid forward

I came home after a night away, and opened my message box only to find the most sentimental message from a friend that went as follows:

I was going through my bag this morning to throw out all the crap I just keep throwing in it. I found a receipt with this written on the back: I gave the waitress a better tip because she reminded me of my friend Elfie. Hope you're well,

This message made me realise that I have some extremely sentimental friends, and that sometimes even though I feel alone in a really superficial world, that I'm not. I'm so thankful to have the opportunity to interact with such remarkable people, and on top of it, leaving a small yet positive impression on them, that would cause them to pay a good deed forward. That makes me feel very honoured.

Day 4 - old friends that never fade

There are certain types of friendships that are circumstantial. Once the specific social circumstance fades, so does the friendship. Then there are other friends that you could spend months not talking to and see them, and it's as if no time has passed. You picked up where you left off, filling in the blanks as you go. These friends, are like family. Because the friendship isn't based on some scenario where we'd have to interact, and even if it began that way, it's developed into something more meaningful. Its a friendship that doesn't base itself on the inane aspects of daily life. I'm blessed to have so many of these people in my life. And I know, no matter what the situation might be, whatever hour of the day it is, how ever big the favour is - these are the ones I can count on.

Day 3 - small considerations

We all know that the world doesn't revolve around us, but there are certain moments in the day where people do very simple considerate things that help improve a very transient or potentially insignificant moment in your life. Having a pretty socially active day today, I had a lot of those moments: a friend taking a more burned pancake and leaving the better one for me and others to eat, making an extra effort to help find a good restaurant to eat when they weren't even coming for dinner, opening a door and letting me go through first, little things like this. They're so simple, but when multiplied throughout the day and done consistently, it makes a huge difference. So thank-you for all the small efforts.

Day 2 - Adrian, a kooky Galt local

Downtown Galt, (a Southern Ontario town where my school's satellite campus sits), can be a sketchy place no doubt. There are more than a few people wandering the streets that are a few cards short of a full deck. Most can be extremely off putting and make me nervous at times. But, there is a kooky man by the name of Adrian who wanders around Main St. He may not have the most polished exterior nor does he have the most charming demeanor, but he is a very sincere character. Every single time he sees me, he always remembers me, and makes sure I'm doing well. He's offered me a chocolate, a cd and other little gifts and kind words. And yah, this might sound a little creepy, but he seems pretty harmless, and generally greatful for conversation. Today he showed me his new necklace of a carved wooden elephant. He said his trunk was up, so it was good luck. After making sure I'm doing well, he then wished me a really great weekend and to have a good day too. And he meant it. Thanks Adrian.

Day 1 - check-in phone calls at the perfect time

You'll get random phone calls from a friend that just want to see how you're doing. And in some cases they seem choreographed to the precise moments when you need someone most. For instance, this happened to me today, having recently come out of a fairly intense relationship, breaking the cycle of negative thoughts and emotions is often difficult. And just as one was about to start, ring-ring, there's a friend. After a brief 5 or 10 min conversation, everything was fine, crisis averted. Someone out there is actually worrying about my well being. It's pretty awesome when you think about it.

Premise

The reason for this blog is to force me reflect every day on something I'm thankful for. It may sound cliche, but I truly believe reminding myself every day of something I am thankful for will help me as a person on many levels. So I've decided to give myself a deadline, to see what happens when I do this. I will make a post every day for one year. If it's as good as I hope, then I'll obviously continue. Don't get me wrong, I can be a completely cynical person from time to time. There are plenty of things we interact with on a daily basis that deter us from seeing anything that's worth noting or being happy for. And it's not to say that I'm trying to eliminate all those distractions, because they're useful in their own ways, but I think in order to remain a grounded, considerate and honest person, you have to step back and really admit that certain moments are given to you, and that you are lucky because of that.

Yeah I know this all sounds super mushy, but does it really? Or are we just used to being completely self-involved? I mean, I know I have, plenty of times, I'm an architect, an artist - I do have it in me. And that's one of the reasons I'm probably doing this publicly, but the other reason is to put it out there. I thought about doing this in private and keeping a log of it, but it seemed too valuable not to share. People should know this stuff, good things shouldn't be kept secret.